I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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