I think I just saw someone hide a body.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
