I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize