what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
