Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
