And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
