i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
