i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
