I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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