don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Randomize
