Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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