I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
