it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
