So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
