I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
