May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
