Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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