Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
