True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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