woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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