Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
