You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
