We named our party play list daddy issues
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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