somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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