i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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