But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize