Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
