two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
