I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
