if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
