Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
