i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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