PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
