i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
