Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
