Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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