I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
