Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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