Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
