Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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