There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
