dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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