Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it was like his penis was on wheels.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
