Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
