Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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