Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
