Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize