What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
