; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
