sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
