I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
