just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Drunk is a universal language darling
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