Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Small penises have feelings too.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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