I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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