She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
