I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
