Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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