Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
