I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
