A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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