There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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