You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If that was your dad, he is hot
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You made out with two different species that night
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
