I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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