I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
it glows. i had to have it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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