Don't you send me to vm
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
